As you and your spouse move toward a divorce, you’re probably going to have conversations with your children about this process. You’re at least going to have a family meeting where you inform them about the divorce.

As a parent, it’s always important to put the children first. One way to do this is by answering their questions. These may be very different than the questions you would think of first, as an adult, but you still want to be attentive to the needs of children. Here are a few examples:

Is this just temporary?

Many children want to know if their parents are going to get back together in the future. It’s important not to give them false hopes, but to be honest about the state of the relationship.

Are they going to have to move?

Children often feel unsettled when they have to move to a new house. They may also be concerned about moving away from friends who live nearby. This doesn’t mean that the move has to be a negative event, but simply that it is such a big change that they are seeking more information.

Did they cause the divorce?

Children frequently believe that they were responsible for the divorce, perhaps because of the way they acted or because of something that they said. Parents may understand the real reasons for divorce, but they definitely need to take the time to assure their children that they aren’t the reason.

Will they stay in the same school?

You may not have even considered school while setting up the divorce, because you have so much else going on. But it’s still important for children to know that they’re going to have that structure and that they’re going to get to see their friends.

As you answer questions like this, take the time to look at all of your legal options to continue putting your children first during your divorce.